Both the Vice Principal and my best friend (the Spanish teacher) at the school were addicted to diet Coke. So naturally I decided to prey on that one April 1st. The night before, I got one of the custodians to let me into the VP’s office and replaced her 6 pack of diet Coke with regular Coke. Then I went through 2 rolls of quarters buying all the diet Coke out of the faculty lounge vending machine. On both the vending machine and the VP’s fridge I put a sign that said “Dr. Sucrose Strikes Again, muyaaahahahaha.” Thinking ahead, and realizing my life just may be on the line, I brought all the diet Cokes to school then next day in a ice filled cooler, and hid them in the auditorium. Turned out to be a great idea.Before the end of 2nd period, my friend showed up at my classroom door and demanded (as I remember it, in a deep Satan-esque voice) “Give me Diet Coke!” At the speed of light I ran to the auditorium, grabbed a couple of the ice cold diet Cokes and brought them back to her. She cracked one open, guzzled half of it and then, in her normal sweet voice, said “Thanks, may I have that other one too?” Phew!
At lunch I went down to the VP’s office to make peace, carrying another ice cold can. The first thing I noticed when I walked into her office was that she was drinking a 4 month-old, warm diet Coke. (It wasn’t wet from sweat and it had the Christmas label on it.) I’m standing there as she takes a swig of the old, warm one, ice cold can dripping in my hand when she looks up. Now, I doubt this is true, but I’d still swear that when she saw that can she closed her eyes, tilted her head back and let out a classic Homer Simpson “aaaaaaaahhhhhh”.Well, I survived, and thanks to their great sense of humor, even remained friends to this day. They actually found it kind of amusing, and I ended up breaking even because they bought all the cans I had in the cooler off me.
And always remember – have an exit strategy.
